Thanks for the thoughts...maybe there is some additional functionality in the reservations system now, but I've previousy tried removing my name from the UDU list for exactly this reason and the person with whom I spoke says actually said that the system does an automated sweep to pick up people for upgrades based on status and there is not a way for that to be overridden. The copay on an upgrade for the SAN-OGG route is so high, I'd do actually do better cancelling and reticketing both our tickets to take advantage of my status rather than trying to upgrade her with miles and the upgrade copay. Plus, with my luck, then she'd get upgraded and I'd be stuck alone in the back!