Originally Posted by
jimrpa
Sorry, I don't really drink, and I'd not be drinking G&Ts, let along 4 of them. As I said before, I'm not expecting anyone to "conform to me". I think it's reasonable for people to recognize when they are using shared accommodations. I absolutely will politely ask if something can be moved if I'd like to use shared space. Heck, I even do that with luggage bins before I slide a bag to one side or another to fit my bag in.
Sounds good to me.
Yes, it's reasonable for people to acknowledge their surroundings... At the same time, there's nothing that says "tables are for food and drink only. Don't put anything else on them". So, if someone else has stuff on the table, I would also think it's reasonable to expect someone else wanting to use the table to politely ask about some of it being moved so that they can put their food/drink down (whether it's a G&T or a glass of water doesn't really matter too much, though things get dicier when alcohol is involved).
Classic example of why this sort of thing can drive me nuts in the grocery store the other day. I was shopping with my wife, and for various reasons, we were using a grocery cart (For those of you who have ever been to Berkeley Bowl, you realize that using carts isn't necessarily the most efficient mode of getting around the store...). Anyway, I'm trying to stay out of everyone's way, so I park myself (and the cart) at the end of one of the aisles. Suddenly I turn around to find some woman just looking at me. After about 5 seconds of awkward staring, I realize that her basket is located between my cart and the end of the aisle, so I move over a bit to give her room to get to her basket. She starts to go to the basket (still hasn't said a word), but then hesitates. She turns to me and says "I need to go over there", while pointing straight through me to the register line. Having given her lots of space to get to her basket, I don't see the problem... After another 10 seconds, I decide this is crazy and move my cart forward, at which time she proceeds to shuffle the basket forward with her foot, towards the register. She gets past me, and then turns to me to tell me that "it's WAY too heavy to pick up".
HUH? Why not just tell me that in the first place?!? I can't read your mind lady!!!
Anyway, in that particular situation, if she'd simply said something along the lines of: "excuse me, my basket is right there -- it's really heavy and I was hoping to slide it over to the register instead of picking it up." I would have instantly gotten out of the way and likely would have helped her lift it to the register. Instead we shared a 30 second awkward, silent dance.
Your line about "I shouldn't have to ask..." reminded me exactly of that situation. Just ask, whether you believe you need to or not. Generally, you'll be happier with the other person's response if you do.