I'm not sure I can sift through your metaphors to understand what's going on.
Are you trying to use Remote Desktop? If so, you could just create a new Windows user with privileges to access the computer through Remote Desktop, and log on to that.
Else, you can install
TightVNC Server. It's free and runs in the system tray of the computer to be remote controlled. The corresponding TightVNC Viewer is the client. If you're just running these on a LAN with a router or other firewall between these computers and the internet, you don't really need to specify a VNC password unless you want to. VNC is a common protocol and there are clients/servers for Mac and Linux too.
The various 'help' folks seemed aghast that I didn't already know all this stuff and, in effect, told me I "wasn't worthy" to run Linux if I had to ask such stupid questions.
It's not that you're not worthy. It's that Linux is generally unforgiving of errors and sometimes can require significant tweaking to get it to work. Your 'help' folks probably just didn't want to be inundated with requests for support from you.
That said, if you have an inclination to learn, try out
Ubuntu. It's the most user friendly Linux and the one I run. You can download its installer and just install it as a Windows program with no changes to your computer. Then, when and if you want, you can install it as a real operating system.