I guess one of the many annoying things about the CBP is their apparent expectation that all couples follow their neat little relationship development programme. In their view people are supposed to transition from "dating" to "engaged" to "married" and keep the visa status in conformance at all times.

My longest monogamous relationship lasted 17 years, much longer than most of my friends' marriages. We never had any sort of legal document that confirmed our commitment to each other. So what? It's just unbelievable that the CBP thinks they can "bless" certain relationships based on the degree to which you follow their prescribed views about how such things work. But my choice of a different route doesn't mean that I have less right to a happy relationship free of harassment by Federal agents than anyone else.