What you are experiencing really stinks BoulderRick. They better figure out how to take care of you soon, or they're going to lose your loyalty. Based on the amount of flying you do on F9, you've got to be one of their best customers.
Silly question and totally off-topic, but why don't you fly United out of DIA? With over 200K annually, you'd be flying in first class almost every flight for the price of coach. And, your reward redemption options would be far, far greater with StarAlliance.
I'm a former UA refugee myself, but I no longer come close to 1K levels of flying which is why F9 better fits my needs.
Good luck with your issue and let us know if you're able to get an answer using F9's Twitter account.