I am reflecting upon my last mileage run and wondering how many others have endured the embarrassment of being outed by UA employees?

A few weeks ago I flew SFO-LAX-NRT-SIN-NRT-LAX-SFO (yes, all in two days... the thought of 18,000 EQMs will drive just about anyone to the point of insanity). Uneventful on the outbound. LAX-NRT FAs in C are chatty and helpful and I talk to a couple for various parts of the trip (obviously a mistake... keep reading).

Halfway through the MR I return SIN-NRT and then board the NRT-LAX flight. Guess who I see awaiting me in the galley as I board the flight? Three FAs who worked the LAX-NRT flight with me the day before. I hang my head down, trying desperately not to make eye contact. I make a rapid left turn and head into the mini C-cabin in the forward part of the 777.

I take my seat and am promptly offered a pre-departure beverage. Before I can even choose whether or not to make eye contact, our entire cabin is greeted with a loud "No way!!! You were just on my flight yesterday FROM Los Angeles! You've got to be kidding! Why in the world would you only be out here for a day?" No volume filter whatsoever. She might as well have picked up the purser's PA and announced it to the entire plane.

As my cheeks turn a bright shade of crimson (instantly revealing my embarrassment), my many surrounding seatmates turn and look right at me, obviously expecting some sort of explanation as well to satisfy their own curiosity. At this point I'm praying nobody traveled with me and recognized me from the incoming SIN-NRT, as that would have incriminated me even further. Thinking quickly, I muttered something like, "Yeah, it was a quick one." Then all I could was deflect. I added, "Well, talk about a quick turnaround, you have to stand for most of this flight!" She then asked, "What were you doing in Tokyo for such a short amount of time?" Considering my time in NRT was limited to two quick connections (and one hot-cold-hot-cold shower in the RCC), I knew I had to deflect further. "Gosh, I'm so jet lagged I've almost forgotten! What do YOU and your crewmates do in such a short amount of time?"

My skin burned from the intense gaze of others. Their brains were categorically dismissing what kind of occupation would have actually required someone to fly all the way Tokyo one day and back the next. They knew better. Here sat, they likely reasoned, someone who truly had no life and had been caught red-handed in the act." I sunk even lower in my seat as my stomach began to process the characteristically nauseating champagne. The thought of enduring this interrogation for the next 9 hours was bad enough.

It got worse. Right before the doors closed, another FA who was working economy bounced up the aisle to my seat and chirped, "Mr. Xevious!! I remember you!! You did this a few months ago!! No way!" (Obviously the first FA was telling her colleagues in the galley area about this loser mileage runner she had uncovered in her cabin). The heads turned toward me again as I contemplated bolting from the plane and making Tokyo my new home.

Turns out I did do the same MR six months ago and THIS other FA had caught me in the act half a year earlier! As I boarded that NRT-LAX flight last spring, same squirming, same embarrassment, same scorn from others, same evasive responses... and then I had never seen her again until NOW! What are the odds of not seeing a FA for half a year and then being recognized all this time later?

So one of life's greatest questions remains before me: are my days of once or twice a year mileage running LAX-NRT over? Am I on some kind of idiot watchlist that is sure to set off bells and whistles next time I board one of their flights? Will I serve as an endless source of humor at their holiday cocktail parties?

What embarrassment have you endured being caught red-handed on mileage runs? Or what evasive actions have you taken to ensure your anonymity?