Coming up with simple heuristics that would work for just about anyone wanting to maintain their dignity while going through airport security just doesn't seem possible.

I do pretty well getting through security. I think this is less about my social engineering ability and more about being male, over 50 and serious about business.

I've observed that females over 50 and the retired get randomly selected out of proportion to their numbers. If you fit into these categories, nothing you can do will maintain your dignity unless you do as my wife does. When told that she has been "randomly selected," she tells the TSA agent that there wasn't anything random about it. She goes on to ask how random means only women over 50. Generally, the agents back down and move on to the next over 50 female.

My advice is to accept that there is no dignity going through security. Have very low expectations. Be flexible. Keep your eyes on your stuff. Don't let the man get you down. Understand that in security, the rules are there are no rules.

When I think about all of the really stupid things that have happened to me in security, I think about the truly horrid things that have happened to other people. Knowing how bad it could be helps me maintain some perspective.

My advice? Follow another poster's suggestion to get out there and fly.