Having found no space at by far the best value Brussels Starwood, the Four Points, which is cosy, comfortable and accommodating in every sense of the word, I decided to invest a rather steep €190 for room only at Aloft. The chain boasts a bold new concept that should appeal to the style conscious with “grab and go” catering and a lively social scene. The Schuman is in the heart of Commission territory where the main competition includes a Sofitel, a Crowne Plaza, the lesser Intercontinental offering of Holiday Inn Schuman, a Renaissance by Marriott and a more distant Hilton and Radisson Blue.

First impressions are everything and mine were not good. As you walk from Schuman station to what should be the obvious entrance given the address and signage, you are greeted by a less than obvious climb up some badly lit steps to a door, which on the night I visited was out of service due to a party. I was sent around the side of the hotel down a dark and dingy alleyway to what seemed like a side entrance but is in fact the main door. Immediately inside is a small round counter inside which you couldn’t fit the average four-seater kitchen dining table, barely big enough for the single staff member to stand inside. There was a long queue, which I joined, and when I approached the counter, which I assumed was the concierge, I asked “where is the reception?”, to which I got the reply “This is it”. There is no concierge. I was offered a late checkout and given my key without a hint of a smile.

The party didn’t help and I had to fight my way through the tiny foyer to the two lifts, which seemed to take an age to arrive. When I reached the eighth floor in a geological timescale the doors opened to an almost overpowering smell of new carpet, owing to the fact the hotel has only been open just over a month. I made my way along the dimly lit corridor to a corner room (presumably my Gold upgrade gift) and used the contactless card to activate the lock. I opened the door.

I was greeted by a black hole. With only the faintest glimmer of light from the corridor lights I struggled to find a light switch then realised it didn’t work. I assumed there was a place to slot the room key in, which there was, but what did it fit in? I found almost by touch alone a cube-shaped plastic block, but if this was going to activate the power, where was the slot? After a few minutes I finally figured out it had to be slid in diagonally downwards from right to left. Then there was light, the most chilling, unshaded green glimmer of low-energy light from the over-bed fluorescents, bouncing off the darkly painted walls, dark bed covers and plain, almost charcoal coloured carpet you ever saw. The room was huge but almost empty. Without an item of furniture to be seen, it felt like I had entered a giant warehouse and was about as welcoming. Only the “Aloft” channel on the TV added any hint of warmth.

The only usable surfaces were basically a laminated kitchen worktop and two small shelves each side of the bed. Behind the bed was a thin wall about half the width of the room, which barely concealed a small area to hang clothes, coffee/tea making facilities, a somewhat ornate wash basin, a large empty space quite some distance away with no carpet or lights and a shower the other side of this. I mention the large empty space because when you wash your face and hands there isn’t a towel in site and you have to walk into this dingy place to find one. There is only one large towel too. If you wanted to shower at night and again the next morning you'd either be using a wet towel or a hair drier. There isn’t anything else you'd expect to find near the sink either, no face towel, no soap or other toiletries and barely enough space to place any unpredicted necessities you might have remembered to bring with you.

Having washed and brushed up I went back downstairs to check out the eating facilities. It turns out the “grab and go” shop is all there is. If you imagine your local Marks and Spencer’s ready meal counter only all the really nice stuff has been removed leaving only about three three budget varieties then that’s Re:Fuel. Except unlike Marks and Spencer, the meals cost five times as much at €10 each. Having already observed no microwave in the room, like you might expect in Homewood or Staybridge Suites with similar catering, I enquired at the concierge, sorry I mean reception, where I was supposed to eat this meal once I’d taken out a mortgage and spent half the evening cooking my own dinner. The answer, in the lounge, the same lounge that was bursting with people at the party. There wasn’t a seat in site. So my option was buy the meal, cook it, queue at reception behind half a dozen people checking in or asking directions to the party cloakroom, pay for the meal, fight my way through the crowd, wait five minutes for the elevator then go fumble in the dark to get back into my prison cell, switch on the lights and eat the meal presumably sitting on the edge of the bed, since there wasn’t a chair in sight. This is meant to allow me to get hot food and save me time, right? In fact at home I could drive to my local Marks and Spencer and back and cook the meal a lot quicker. I gave Re:Fuel a miss. Jolly nice Indian restaurant on Rue Stevin though that does a great Thali!

When I came back the party was in full swing. It seems half of Brussels had turned out for the weekly Wednesday DJ event, which also occurs on a Thursday. As far as I could work out none of them were guests at the hotel. Hence the cloakroom queue snaking its way across the lobby. I couldn’t see through the crowd to get anywhere near the Wxyz bar, but its Christmas tree lighting looked a lot bigger than its stock of alcohol. I went back to my room, wishing I’d been in the Four Points where my Gold card would have at least earned me a bottle of sparkling water. Thank heavens for my Cobra.

Well, nearly time for bed. First to shut out the gleaming streetlights. My Gold card hadn’t quite come up trumps with the corner room. I had no less than three windows overlooking the beautiful underpass and railway lines. Only problem was, the flimsy curtains on two of the windows didn’t quite stretch to full closure and the pull down blind gets pulled out of its guides as you lower it. Now remember this place is a month old. I’m not sure what happened to the double glazing either. Usually when I enter a hotel room I have to turn the TV volume down but in order to accommodate my usually bedtime flick through the channels I had to turn the volume up to block out the street noise. Yes street noise, on the eighth floor! And where they bought the wall-mounted TV from I don’t know. Yes it was large. Yes it had lots of channels, some of which were supposedly HD. However, they must have asked Philips to do a special production run to build a set with such poor definition. It was barely watchable. I could only make out the late night Belgian TV run of Hi-de-Hi because I know the characters. One last thing, I must recharge my mobile before I go to sleep. My only option was to use the socket near the bed occupied by the alarm clock. Thank goodness mobiles have alarms. I do hope the next guest doesn’t oversleep when he or she finds its midnight forever.

The bed was comfortable enough but it wasn’t exactly quiet outside so I can’t say it was the best night’s sleep and after watch the clock, or rather my mobile, tick away each hour it was finally time to rise and shine. Me that is, not the room lighting. That was as chilling as ever. I make my way to the bathroom. Thankfully, at least the shower has a bottle of shampoo on the wall as I hadn’t assumed I would need to bring any. At least this made up for the lack of a bar of soap by the sink. Shame the shower was half a mile away or I could have used shampoo for soap but still. I laid out the floor cloth rolled up outside the shower and tried to close the door. But hey, guess what? The glass door is so close fitting to the floor, you can’t put the floor cloth anywhere within the area swept out by the door, so you have to walk on bare floor tiles, slippery ones at that, to stand on it. As if I didn’t already have cold feet about this place.

Well breakfast time and more “grab and go”. Thankfully it wasn’t an all night party and there were some seats. I grabbed a bacon roll, which needed to go in the microwave for 30 seconds, a dish of fruit cocktail and some cereal. The fresh bread and croissants hadn’t arrived. So much for 24 hour opening. So much for the bacon roll too. The microwave doesn’t have a 30 second setting and by the time you’ve queued behind a couple of people checking out not only is it cold but its also over evaporated in the cooking and turned into a soggy mess. I did actually find out that there is a thing called an honesty slip to save queuing to pay for food, but you’d never see this if you didn’t know where to look. The fruit cocktail is more of a fruit cockup. It consists of mandarin and well mandarin juice. A steal at €3.60 and we all know which of our favourite hotel chains is doing the stealing. In my view Starwood don't rank highly in the breakfast stakes (at least not outside the US anyway) but I’ve never had anything as bad as this for €15, including non-refillable coffee.

It’s not often I can find the time, let alone the motivation, to submit a trip report. However, it was when I was asked at checkout by the still lone receptionist at the end of the still long queue if I’d enjoyed my stay that I felt a compelling urge to warn others off repeating my thoroughly disappointing experience at Sheraton’s first European Aloft property. It would be just madness to select this hotel. If you are just looking for SPG points in Brussels then the Four Points off Louise and within easy reach of most of the city by tram is my recommendation. If you really have to stay near Rue de la Loi then Aloft’s location is nowhere near as good as the Crowne Plaza, where you are made to feel welcome, the restaurant is very good, rooms are cosy and the late night bar is well stocked. Frankly even the rather depressing Holiday Inn Schuman would get my business before the Aloft ever would again and I could have got a room there on the same night for €70 less. I don’t know what other Alofts are like but I am determined never to find out. For those that do, I suppose the only positive thing I can say is that those concierge queues are bound to get shorter.