Generally, without Omni, there would be no one to tell me that I am a backwards, Politically Incorrect, neo-Fascistic Cro- Magnon (in other words, registered Republican.)

Fortunately, I am currently in Milan visiting my ultra Leftist UIG (Used Italian Girlfriend) and she more than adequately fills that void.

I only have 8 more days left here, however, and will be completely lost if Omni is not returned by then.

Hmm, I wonder if I can get a Massachusetts Supreme Court ruling mandating that billions of dollars be spent by the Federal Government to establish a commission to study the impact of removing Omni upon minorities (like Israeli Republicans) and compensating us for this deprivation?