While your upgrades truly sound like upgrades, I'm sure if Hilton were to go back into my history they would say that on two or three occasions I've actually received an upgrade because they put me on a floor that had a little sign next to the elevator bank that said "HHonors". I assign no value to that.

Problem is in the definition of an upgrade. I take not being assigned a room next to an elevator / ice machine for granted as a frequent traveler of any loyalty program. The fact that Hilton says "take 1,000 points or risk not being able to sleep because we're going to assign you the shlub room next to the elevator and ice machine" makes their definition of upgrade ludicrous.

With programs like Starwood it's pretty easy to know if you've received an upgrade as their upgradable rooms are actually different than standard rooms. And when they can't accommodate an upgrade the front desk agents 90% of the time verbally tell you that they tried, but due to bookings, couldn't.