lavedder, there is pretty decent rule of thumb stating that a shoulder carry-on shouldn't weigh much more than 10% of your body weight. I know that yours is a roller. I say this anyway because given that you have a hard time lifting the thing up, this can be a "house number" to help in orientation toward a target weight. Lifting a heavy bag over your head to a position in front of you puts great stress on your back and shoulders. When you are small and lightweight, this is compounded.

There are two things you can and, as you say yourself, probably should do to lighten the load.

1. Reduce the tare weight, that is the weight of the luggage itself. The lightest combo I know of would be the Outdoor Products Essential Carry-on or the A. Saks 12" Expendable. Both actually have more internal volume than your current bag. Both are completely soft-sided. None has wheels. Both weigh less than 2lb. The Samsonite Micromover cart weighs about 1kg, so just a tad over 2lb. If you go with one of these combos, you effectively cut your tare luggage weight in half while still keeping wheels, which would probably be a good thing, since lugging a heavy bag on your shoulder is going to harm your neck. The Opec bag also has backpack straps.

2. Pack less and pack lighter things. I guess the netbook with PSU and bag ways around 4lb. Not much to cut there, unfortunately. But you can separate that from the main bag when you put it in the overhead. You started with 28lbs. 24 left. Subtracting 8 for weight of your bag. This means your other "stuff" weighs in around 16lb. Too much.

The good news is that you can probably shave 6lb off quite easily.

I reckon you're a woman.

I'd go over to the Female Traveler Forum and ask the ladies there for their packing lists and tricks. They already have some posted and will certainly be of great help. The good thing about being small and slim is that your clothes will weigh very little, too. So you should be able to do 4lb bag weight + 10lb stuff + 4lb separate electronics weight. Basically, this means the weight you actually have to put into the overhead bin will be 14lb. That should be doable on your own without hurting yourself. And it would present no risk for a gentleman of your choice if you ask for help.

The Samsonite Micromover is a bit of a hassle but together with a light bag it is the lightest, wheeled solution I know of. And it fits into the front pocket of the A. Saks like a charm.

You can also quite likely consolidate your hand bag and your computer bag into one nice looking tote. My GF is a college prof. She carries a nice nylon and leather Samsonite tote that looks elegant and feminine enough even for academic conference use. It carries her papers, personal belongings that usually are in her hand bag, her computer and her 311 baggie. Her main bag is an 18" wheelie. It holds two trouser suits, three blouses, underwear and sleepwear, beauty supplies and a second pair of shoes. If she does a bit of sink wash or has some shirts laundered, she can go infinitely with that combo. I haven't weighed it but I have lifted it. I'd say the thing weighs around 18lb altogether. Subtract 6lb for the weight of the bag. 12 left. She is about 5' 4" and weighs around 110lb, a similarly petite person. She always looks great when she travels. If she can do it, you can do it.

Till