I am still surprised about the one sided view here. Is this because the 'victim' is part of the in crowd? (he said jokingly)

I am 100% convinced that the conversation was not offensive in the slightest. No doubt about it. I am even convinced that it was poor judgement to ask a cc to explain that she was upset by the conversation. But is there nobody here who can understand that no matter how much grace was used and no matter how much it is a good thing to share your feelings, someone who (maybe) just lost someone close can still get upset by such a conversation? The problem with airplanes is that (unless the load is low) you have nowhere to go to avoid being bothered

Cut the lady some slack. I am sure she did not ask this lightly.