I am a veteran loser of all things necessary onboard planes: raincoats, sunglasses, cellphones, hats, books, important documents. Don't worry; you'll never see anything again that was left onboard, even if it has a popup screen to turn on saying "If lost, please call (415) xxx-xxxx; REWARD!" (several cellphones I've lost over the years).

I've even gone so far as to ask at the front desk, saying (with AlaskaAir) "It's at Gate 33 RIGHT NOW; I was just in Seat 4A!" When they can get anyone on the phone, which is rare, they deny all knowledge of your Panama Hat, with Brown leather 1" headband, and your name written inside. And nobody at the gate saw it either. And you're directed to call their systemwide LostAndNeverFound number (which, regardless of the airline, when you can get thru on it, "takes a report", and promptly tosses it, because when you call again, they don't find your first report in the computer).

And the airPORTs are even worse: at LAX, in the AA terminal, I swear they have a found property fencing operation running. Same deal, got onboard an AVIS bus and realized I'd left my cellphone when I was talking with the agent at Customer Service. Called up, no one could get me through to that desk. Of course there was someone there: it was customer service, and I'd set down my cellphone to fiddle with some document or other for another flight. Lost and Found? Nope. Next day: nope. Next week: nope.

It's even worse if you lose things and can't place exactly where: then you can call the airport too, and they'll shift you off on a hateful voicemail system that is supposed to take your report and call you back if they find your stuff (right!!!!!), but the voicemail box was FULL and continued to be FULL for the next week, until I gave up.

No, kiss your stuff goodbye.

I'd love to hear from someone who actually got their stuff back (and I don't mean from the Admiral's Club, where they will make a good faith effort). Perhaps there's a few. But I'm batting .000