I've been through DTW Customs 20+ times in the last 8 years and have yet to go through any type of screening with them. I just hand them my form and walk out the door. They have all been European flights. Still waiting for one of these "horrific" experiences.
Same here - in my pre-Global Entry days I had one secondary screening at DTW in probably 30-40 trips, and the CBP folks who did the screening were actually very pleasant and efficient. They stopped me after a 3wk trip to SE Asia (holiday) and asked several questions about my employment status & purpose of the trip. After providing enough evidence like business cards etc it was smooth sailing. I could understand why they flagged me as a risk and took it in stride. I'd rather have CBP be tough about screening vs. the other way around.
If people are that upset about CBP screening there's a great solution called Global Entry.