Woke up pretty early ... bent over to pick up something and
saw a blob I didn't think had been there before, off in the
corner, but my vision isn't great, so I can't guarantee that
- it was a large roach. Scooped it up - it was upside down
and fairly dried out - and flushed it. On reflection, I
decided this wasthe way that the staff get people to take
off the do not disturb sign, so I didn't do that, so
housekeeping didn't get any satisfaction for the loss of
its prop.

I went downstairs at 6 to get beer for breakfast but thought
better of it and just did the e-mail.

Melville had told me about the free shuttle to the M from
Fashion Show Mall, so off I went, saving Mrp Alert a trip to
the SSTT to pick me up. The bus - nobody seems to know this
- leaves from the deserted north side of the mall. I'd kept
inquiring - none of the shop people knew, and none of the
security people knew. Finally I found a waiter at
Stripburger who pointed knowingly around the corner. I
thanked him, turned the corner onto, surprise, Fashion Show
Lane, and found the shuttle but no Melville. Barbie the
driver obligingly waited an extra few minutes before leaving
and slowed down at the regular bus stop and the stop on
Spring Mountain so I could look - no such luck. So off I
went, only passenger on a bus I hadn't known existed 12
hours earlier.

There was a big hoopla getting my tickets. Ticketmaster had
managed to screw up my reservation, so when I presented
myself at Studio B to get my credentials, I was deemed to be
unknown: it was suggested that the concierge at the front
might be able to help. So I trooped back and eventually
found Nancy, a cutish woman of about my age, who took charge
of me, found someone capable of dealing with Ticketmaster,
and got my tickets printed; so just in the nick of time we
were good to go. Only three of us - Mrp Alert; Melville, who
had ended up circling the mall, not finding anything looking
like a shuttle stop, and taken a taxi; and me.

Tina Martini at the M is billed as the only cooking show in
town; I'm told it gets broadcast on cable somewhere. The
chef is a bouncy, somewhat overenthusiastic fifty-odd, who
calls herself a chef, nutritionist, and entertainer,
something like that. She does seem pretty likeable, and she
does have decent technique (except see below), but I get a
little antsy about her nutritional expertise.

Our segment featured the M classic bloody Mary, not really
special, and beef Wellington, somewhat more special. Tina
was amusing, and she can cook; her schtick is a bunch of
nutritionist talk that I thought detracted from the flow
and failed to convince me of the health benefits of bloody
Marys and beef Wellington. We got recipe handouts (the
secret ingredient of the M bloody Mary is "au jus") and one
entitled "Phyto Nutrient Chart," containing a load of
breathless and partially baseless claims ... starts with the
statement "Phytochemicals, also known as Photonutrients, are
naturally occurring chemicals in plants that give fruits,
vegetables, grains, and legumes their medicinal, disease-
preventing, health-enhancing properties. Phytonutrients are
supercharged antioxidants." Et cetera

Also on hand for the show was the house butcher, who told us
that all the beef served there was organically free-range
raised at the M's own ranch in Montana and butchered on
premises. Following which he taught us how to trim a filet
for the table (discarding things I would not discard, or
maybe he uses them in his "au jus").

We got samples of the star foods - a half-size cocktail that
was way too garlicky for me and way too unboozy and that
included some crushed pepper that got stuck in my teeth,
followed by an appetizer-size Wellington that tasted pretty
good but was way less rich (never trust a nutritionist chef)
than I thought right.

At one point during the show Tina cut herself with an
overenthusiastic flourish with the chef knife, and she
finished the show with her hand wrapped in a napkin. I'm not
so certain this segment is going to make it on the air.