When a friendly TSA officer next commands us to bend over while the inspector puts on rubber gloves and soothingly lilts, “This won’t hurt a bit,” I’m not ready to believe him. We’re reaching that bend-over point.

One last kinda fib: TSA is not a law enforcement agency; they only want you to think they are. Though the “officers” wear pretty blue shirts, have walkie-talkies, big patches and shiny badges, they have no law enforcement authority. The documentary, Please Remove your Shoes, makes note of this. This fact hasn’t been sitting well with real law enforcement types, but TSA evidently needs to maintain this kind of deceitful appearance in an attempt to command respect.