'Tis not the BAA that makes the arrest, 'tis the police.

Usually, with raucous "lads or laddettes" (read "chavs or chavettes") going to a stag do in Amsterdam, Prague or a number of European fleshpots - although Las Vegas is now appearing with grim regularity! (I hang my head in shame for being British at weekends) what happens is this:

1. Loudmouth guffaws to his mates that he has "Semtex in his bag. Did you bring the detonator Steve? Have you got the slow burning fuse Nige?"

2. BAA Security man sternly tells him to behave and asks him what is in his bag.

3. Loudmouth guffaws again and states that this guy doesn't believe him! Tell him Steve - tell him about the Semtex!

4. BAA Security man calls supervisor.

5. Supervisor calls police.

6. Police make the arrest and take Loudmouth away for searching and questioning which usually involves detention for a couple of hours whilst bona fides are checked and a charge sheet is typed up.

7. If Loudmouth is lucky, he receives a warning, a destroyed ticket and a ruined stag weekend! If he's unlucky, through stupidly persisting with his guffaws and macho display of muscle-flexing before the "bizzies", he may be charged and face a court appearance at a future date.

Messing about with security just ain't worth it!