^ Thank you for the honour! Profile duly updated.
Even if I were, the comment would be completely superfluous and duly ignored. She does seem to have an awful lot of everything: despite the unfeasible amount of space in her dressing room, it has somehow become necessary to separate her shoes into Summer and Winter, and we have the Great Changeover twice a year, where boxes and boxes are moved out into the storage area, and more boxes and boxes are moved into the dressing room. I tend to make my excuses and go out to do something more interesting on such occasions.
Mind you, a former girlfriend who was very good at maths explained to me why women need so many shoes. Basically it's a question of combinations. If shoes can be
- black, brown, grey, blue, red, green, white = 7 (and I'm sure I've missed some)
- matt or shiny = 2
- flat heels, medium heels, high heels, stilettos, ankle boots, knee boots = 6
- pointy or rounded ends = 2
- with silvery decoration, goldy decoration or plain = 3
then the number of possible combinations, and thus the number of pairs of shoes you need, is 7 x 2 x 6 x 2 x 3 = 504. "Need" because your outfit will always require a specific combination of the above. (I probably messed up some of the details but the principle's there.) So if you have fewer than 500 pairs of shoes you must be exercising a lot of restraint etc etc.
But I'm sure you're not like that at all, really
