THE ULTIMATE LITMUS TEST
I found your thread most interesting as I feel it is something of a litmus test. I doubt that your demeanor substantially changes, if at all when, you are in your flight uniform and feel you are treated with dignity or if you are in more casual attire and not treated with dignity.
I draw two possible conclusions from your experiences.
1) Assuming your demeanor is one of an unpleasant person, then you were treated decently in uniform as the TSO didn't want to make waves with your airline or other percieved higher authority then the TSO, but when in casual attire they believe they can be unpleasent to you in return.
2)Assuming your demeanor is one of a pleasant person, then you are treated decently for the same reasons noted above, but unpleasantly when in casual attire because the TSO has a bully mentality.
In either case if the TSO must treat you in kind (#1), or is a bully (#2), this indicates to me that the person's behavior is unacceptable, contrary to TSA's posted passenger rights, and the TSO should be reassigned to a position where they have no human contact, or be fired.
I have always felt no matter how poorly a person treats another, if the latter is in a position of power they can always use the proverbial ultimate threat, whatever you percieve it to be (i.e. DY...T, call police, etc.), and therefore can afford to be deferential to the offending party (the former).
This also adds credence to a post I recently made on another thread, and that is as a general rule, anyone in a service related position should experience (incognito) what their customers experience so that they can have a better understanding of how the process works or doesn't, and how they are treated. This is particularly true of TSOs of which few I have spoken with have gone through the screening process as a civilian.
Again, you treatment while wearing civilian clothes just substantiates the above observation.