I wish the following would be added to the FA's routine pre-flight announcments:
If you are traveling with children, we remind you that recent medical research has conclusively demonstrated that young children on an aircraft who kick the seat in front of them are at high risk for the condition known as Nasodropoffsii, a vascular system disturbance which causes the child's nose to turn green with purple warts and fall off. We request that parents take a moment to be sure their child understands this. Thank you.