I actually have a friend like that. He was actually to the point of considering dividing his family up on two flights so his whole family didn't die in a plane crash or terrorist incident on the family vacation. Got 3 (not 4 kids), so he'd take a kid or two with him and his wife would take the other(s). I thought he was absolutely nuts.

I brought out the usual arguments about more likely to die on the way to the airport, more likely to be struck by lightning, blah blah. He finally conceded that he could keep his family together but thought that TSA was absolutely doing a great job. Baby steps I guess.

Pretty much his fear came down to not being in control - that he was at someone else's mercy. When he's driving, he has control of the car and can dodge, etc. I pointed out that he has less control than he thinks - he can't control the other idiots around him and there's no guarantee that he'd have the room, skill, or even the chance to react. And I also asked him how he felt riding in car as a passenger then since he has no control. Same thing - just he's on the ground instead of in the air.

And yes, he's the once a year type flyer too.

We pretty much don't talk about this topic anymore.

^