Ritz is nice.. but Kapalua is a bit wet and windy.. so if you're planning to go to the beach, it would be less ideal, then say staying in Wailea where everything is at. For example, on tripadvisor Four Seasons is rated #1, and Kea Lani, Grand Wailea.. rated pretty high too. Great Beach weather, and everything is tourist convenient.

If you do a Kilauea outing, go via helicopter.. going through security at the airport will be brutal with a five year old.. security, wait, procedures.. the whole nine yards, including luggage check-in/check-out, rental car pick up. etc. Helicoptor, nice and personal, plus a guide to tell you the ins and outs.