You may want to call back AA on this....my mom had a similar experience last year. When she called back, she happened to say that she would be getting a Citibank AAdvantage card to add more miles to the account since she needed to get credit in her name (OK, a lie). The only thing that she had to do then was sign an affadavit and provide a copy of the death certificate by fax. Miles transferred within a week.

Best of luck with everything in what I know is a difficult time.