The last time I had an anywhere near decent stay at a Shangri-La was in the 1980s - once in the Valley Wing Singapore (after having screamed at the dismal, dowdy, dark suite they first showed us and demanded to be moved) and in Makati, Philippines, which was, at the time, the best there was and I was pathetically grateful that they had a decent bottle of wine in all-day-dining.

Since then, I feel as though Shangri-La has been hell bent on making my life as difficult and uncomfortable as possible. A suite in Bangkok looked as though it dated from Chairman Mao's era, with dozens of chairs ranged around the walls, as though waiting for an audience with the great one. Food was inedible, so I starved for 2 days, apart from dinner at the next-door Oriental, which restored my sanity for a while.

Then there was the Shangri-La in Abu Dhabi......but honestly, I am still so distressed by this experience that I can barely talk about it, and although I filled in their on-line questionnaire after our stay, I never heard a thing back. Why? Because they don't CARE!