I'm not sure about your job/company, but at my company we don't just stick a new hire in an office by themselves and cut them loose - we try to take a somewhat proactive approach. Yes, we give them a pile of paperwork and company policies to read, but we assign them mentors and stick them in training classes, because learning from another person is a much better and more efficient way to process the important bits.

Please note that I did look around several of the forums looking for a beginner's guide, but didn't find anything that fit my expectations of a thread essentially for people who have never flown before (Maybe that's not the type FT caters to or wants). I could have spent 4 hours googling and winnowing down the results until I came upon something I could actually understand, or I could take 5 minutes to post a question and wait until someone volunteers to answer it.

To the rest of you - thank you. Part of the problem is I don't yet have a 'preferred' airline/FFP, so I was looking for a generic "start here" thread. Per the advice above, I looked into the United/MP thread; I think I have a decent grasp on the different fare classes now, although I'm still trying to crack the whole upgrade thing (which isn't super important as I fear it will be a long time before I'm eligible for any).