I hope you don't mean to say that your parents travel as much as you, and yet you have them on a family account where you only earn 20% of their mileage. Lounge access is only for the member with status.

The lounge at T1 is pretty good. It has showers, a dining area with hot and cold fresh food, a variety of drinks incl alcoholic drinks, a business centre, a smoking area, TV's, lots of place to sit. Except for the one time that it was really busy, I've found it to be very quiet, especially in comparison to the madness outside. It is a 10 minute walk from T3, but that's not too bad.

Your chances of an upgrade don't depend on the availability in J, but on how overbooked Y is. And even then it depends on what route you're flying and when, and a lot of luck.