I really believe it takes two to tango. Not to discredit the OP at all--- just when things escalate to the point that someone is asked to leave the plane (or bar or party or wherever), usually it's not one-sided. And the list of items in the bag that the FA asked the OP to check, well, I'm not visualizing a small bag here. Factor in the passion and emotion that are evident in the OP's post, and I'm not getting a vision of a mean witch of a FA picking on an unsuspecting traveller.
There's two sides to every story and somewhere in between is the truth.