Fastforward to the year 2020:

TSA Announces New Pre-Pre-Pre-Pre-Screening Program to Evolve Safety

A. All airline pax must advise TSA 72 hours before flight of the house/hotel/office where they will depart for the airport, so a Mobile Screening Checkpoint can be sent to screen the pax as they leave their front door. A $750 "It's for your own security" Fee will apply and be added to the ticket price.

B. All pax must advise the TSA of their car/bus/taxi route to the airport, so a second Mobile Screening Checkpoint can rescreen the pax halfway to the airport to ensure the pac has not "picked up any packages from strangers" while enroute. The $500 "Halfway Fee" will be also added to the ticket price.

C. These screenings are in addition to the normal 57 levels of screening the pax will encounter, starting with the normal "Five miles from the airport parking lot First TSA Checkpoint and Strip Search." The $879 "Gosh How High Can TSA Milk 9/11™ Fee for this service remains the same.

D. Pax are advised to leave their house/hotel/office 24 hours before their flight time to allow for normal TSA screening times.