After you buy a fresh pair of whitie-tighties and stain them with brown shoe polish or something of that nature, take EVERYTHING out of the carryon and put one item per bin. One bin = one shirt. As soon as you get past ticket/id check, take every single bin and ask for more because all your items in your carryon will not fit in the bins they have there, and when they tell you not too take everything out, insist on doing it because it is a civil liberty, while you're holding up a box of condoms, a toy barbie, and a pair of "stained" underwear.

I bet they will be shocked.