Pencils could also be used to write incendiary articles, narratives, novellas, or poetry. Kudos for the screeners at Santo Domingo for preventing another catastrophe!

And an ethernet cable! Phew! I'm so glad they stopped that terrorist act before it got underway. The cable could connect a computer to the internet, you could log on to a web site, purchase sharp objects, and have them delivered to you.

A flight attendant carrying perfume samples? They don't have 911 in England, but I hope someone called. That flight attendant could have sickened, even incapacitated those passengers with allergies or "multiple chemical sensitivity."

Big pat on the back for screeners everywhere. It feels good to save lives!