You are learning a lot of valuable lessons.

Relationships are complicated even in the best of circumstances. A cross-border relationship is exponentially more complicated because you are not simply guaranteed the right to visit or live with one another any time you want. This is an area that was been abused frequently, so one can certainly understand the skepticism when someone arrives at a border crossing (Canadian preclearance means the border crossing happens before you leave) with a one-way ticket and a story about a boyfriend that has never been seen in person.

There are many sad stories of couples who have been forced to break up or live apart because of immigration problems. These stories are hardly limited to the US.

I'm sorry this has "broken your spirit," but perhaps the lesson is to slow down and work with the US and Canadian officials and an immigration lawyer. You've already made a big misstep and it will take time to get past that. It costs both money and time to sustain a cross-border relationship, but it can be done.