AN*G-BNE

Driving through the countryside gives you a new perspective on the way of life. In hindsight, I'm glad circumstances forced me into this option, particularly as I can write this now, safe back in DEL, having survived 10 hours of Indian traffic. Let me summarise the local traffic rules, as far as I can understand them.

1. Stopping is environmentally unfriendly. Therefore, conserve your brakes and the gas required to re-accellerate and just weave your way through the traffic, regardless of whether it is going in the same direction as you, coming towards you, or going across you.
   
2. The purpose of the horn is to advise other motorists that you are coming, and you're not stopping and they'd better work out how to weave around you.
   
3. Number 2 applies to pedestrians as well.
   
4. Number 2 applies to cyclists, tractors and horse drawn carts as well.
   
5. Number 2 does not apply to cows and other unridden livestock like chickens and sheep.
   
6. A vehicle is considered roadworthy even if you only have 2 doors (and duct tape holding the others in), tyres without tread or indicators that do not work.
   
7. A vehicle is considered unroadworthy if the horn does not work.
   
8. Traffic lights are only applicable if between 20-25 vehicles are approaching that intersection simultaneously. If less than 20 vehicles are present, see number 2. If more than 25 vehicles are present, all should enter the intersection and then apply number 2.
   
9. If a vehicle bearing tourist taxi number plates, and carrying what obviously looks like a foreigner stops because of traffic lights, or the incorrect operation of number 2, or if the driver has to make a strategically timed stop to pay some tax, or refuel, all local street vendors within a 200m radius are required to descend upon said vehicle.

Beyond that, I don't think any other road rules apply. I am uncertain if the requirement is to drive on the left hand side of the road, or the right hand side of the road.


On the way, some interesting sights of note included:

1. repeated demonstrations as to the sturdiness of the local Indian motorised 3 wheeler pedicab. It is possible to fit entire villages in one, by loading up the benches inside, allowing passengers to stand on the rear bumper and hang on to the roof, and allowing more passengers to sit on the rear bumper between the legs of the afore-mentioned standing passengers.
   
2. it is similarly possible to fit families of 6 on a 125cc motorcycle, through judicious use of baskets, mother's laps, and father's shoulders.
   
3. Trucks can be loaded up to three times their cab height, and double their width, through the use of large canvases thrown over the goods and tied down tight. This often lead to said trucks overbalancing and tipping over onto their sides, spilling their load onto the road. This is not unusual.
   
4. If you have a traffic accident, the entire extended family of the injured one, plus the entire extended family of the villagers, will descend upon the at fault driver's car, bashing away at the windows, roofs and doors and yelling (observed twice).
   
5. Mobile phone shops are the most common sight, particularly in derelict villages.

Next: Agra and the Taj Mahal