Ha Ha!
Before I was Elite, I once saw this old guy being very obnoxious about getting his upgrade. Once he got on the plane he began pestering the flight attendants. Then this gorgeous and friendly blond passenger sat down in the seat next to him. His attitude about travelling in coach changed.
Since becoming an Elite, I have never received an upgrade. Once a GA seemed uninformed about Elite upgrades; and on my flight back from PHX the GA insisted there was no such thing as an Elite upgrade.
I flew back from PHX next to two annoying children; but ya never know when you'll be lucky enough to get an upgrade seat...or, even better, a seat next to that blond.