Keep your audience in mind - essentially a soul-less bureaucrat whose eyes are going to glaze over when she/he reads your personal details and travails (no matter how honest and from the heart they are).

I looked in Google for a reference to Italian business letters:

http://books.google.com/books?id=w7e...age&q=&f=false

and with a quick glance at the summary in Google, I whipped this up:



Consulate of Italy
Los Angeles Region
123 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, CA 90001


Dear Sir/Madam:

RE: Submission of Corrected Short-Term Visa Application

Thank you for the opportunity to submit for your review corrected documentation in support of my application for a short-term tourist visa to allow me to visit Italy for a duration of seventeen days, beginning on January 3, 2010 and ending January 20, 2010..

In addition to my completed visa application form, please find the following updated supporting documentation:

• A copy of my planned travel itinerary
• Letter from my current employer, detailing hire dates
• Letter from my immediate supervisor/manager
• Updated copies of my four most current banking statements
• Copy of my 2008 US Federal Income Tax Form 1040A

I wish to apologize for failing to inform the officer who performed my initial interview about my change of employers. I understand how important this information is to the persons who will evaluate my application, and I trust that the updated information will provide an accurate reflection of my financial and employment standing in the United States.

Thank you once again for considering my application. It is a heartfelt wish of mine to experience the history and culture of Italy firsthand, and I look forward to making my trip as scheduled this coming January.


Yours faithfully,

Losangeles77



What this example does is to stay completely away from the negativity of your first attempt. It gives the purpose of the new application in neutral, business-like language. And it presents your second application as a positive event -it moves your cause (getting the visa ) forward, casting the apporval as a foregone conclusion. The rejected application is mentioned, but only in passing. Your proposal lingers far too much over what went wrong, not over what can go right next time. The second interviewer will have access to notes from the first interview, so there is NO reason to re-hash what happened before.