We held our reception at a Marriott and used it as the primary hotel for out-of-town guests. They did a wonderful job with us on the rooms for our guests: $79/night for a large urban Marriott with a block of 40 rooms/night held until 1 week before the event. I also earned about 20,000 Rewards points from the deal, and we got the most amazing upgrade one could ask for. (This suite had about five rooms including a dining rooms and grand piano.)

I think the key to all of that nice treatment was the fact that we were having the reception at Marriott. Moreso than my status in MR and moreso than the revenue I was bringing with the room-nights. (The hotel ended up selling out due to NFL football and another convention.) I know Marriott made a very large profit on the catering/bar bill, so the fact that we were spending quite a bit of money in this area undoubtedly had a lot to do with it.

Even if you aren't holding your reception at Marriott: a forty-person rehearsal dinner should be enough leverage to earn at least a little goodwill on the room rate. Unless the Marriott is tied into an oustanding restaurant at which you *have* to have your rehearsal dinner, I would shop around and make Marriott aware that you are doing so because of the high room rates. You may find another hotel that aggressively wants your catering+room business, or you may find a great restaurant that wants your dinner business along with a less expensive (but still nice) hotel.

Not that I'm an expert in small-city upstate New York travel, but $149 for a weekend-night seems awful high.