In Spain there are definitely "American" restaurants, aside from fast-food chains. They do very well, though not from me because they suck.

There are a couple of global chains like Hard Rock, TGIF and Tony Roma's in Madrid, but nationwide we get the home-grown places with off-sounding names that seem to have been subject to a literal translation: Foster's Hollywood and Rock & Ribs are the two biggest. Both their names and menus remind me of "Americatown", the restaurant the Simpsons visited in Tokyo.

You can dine on such sort-of-familiar sounding things as Bacon & Cheese Fries, Pizza Fajitas, "Salad Cheese Cabra", and of course a stack of pancakes smothered in chocolate sauce and whipped cream for dessert. All washed down with a 7-ounce Coke, no ice.

Part of my disappointment is due to all of these things being passed through the Spanish cultural filter in order to make them palatable for the market - much the same way Spaniards would just shake their head at what passes for paella served in the US - but I suspect it's got as much to do with the fact that the people cooking and serving these dishes have never eaten the thing they're supposed to be a copy of so there's not really a point of reference.

It's not like we don't have plenty of great food here, but once in a while a guy does get homesick for B&G, CFS, or blueberry cobbler. And now I make those at home.