Got this FWD from friend regarding the UAL FA Furlough:


Dear Co-Worker,


The airline industry is in a crisis. Its business model doesn't
work with the current price of fuel and the existing level of capacity
in the marketplace. We need to make changes in response.
While there have been several successful fare increases, those
increases haven't been sufficient to cover the rising cost of fuel. As
fares increase, fewer customers will fly. As fewer customers fly, we
will need to reduce our capacity to match the reduced demand. As we
reduce our capacity, we will need fewer employees to operate the
airline. Although these changes will be painful, we must adapt to the
reality of today's market to successfully navigate these difficult
times.

Therefore, a program to phase out the more senior flight attendants
by the end of the current fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed
into effect immediately. Under this plan, senior fa's will be asked to
take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of the new-hires
who represent our future. This program will be known as SLAP (Sever
Late-Aged Personnel). Flight attendants who are SLAPPED will be given
the opportunity to look for jobs outside the company. SLAPPED FA's can
request a review of their employment records before actual retirement
takes place. This review phase of the program is called SCREW (Survey
of Capabilities of Retired Early Workers). All FA's who have been
SLAPPED and SCREWED may file an appeal with upper management. This
appeal is called SHAFT (Study by Higher Authority Following
Termination). Under the terms of the new policy, an FA may be SLAPPED
once, SCREWED twice, but may be SHAFTED as many times as the company
deems appropriate.
If an FA follows the above procedure, he/she will be entitled to
get: HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel's Early Severance) or
CLAP (Combined Lump sum Assistance Payment). As HERPES and CLAP are
considered benefit plans, any FA who has received HERPES or CLAP will
no longer be SLAPPED or SCREWED by the company.

Management wishes to assure the younger flight attendants who
remain on board that the company will continue its policy of training
FA's through our:
Special High Intensity Training (SH*T). We take pride in the amount of
SH*T our FA's receive. We have given our FA's more SH*T than any
company in this area. If any FA feels they do not receive enough SH*T
on the job, see your Inflight Supervisor. Your Inflight Supervisor is
specially trained to make sure you receive all the SH*T you can handle.
And, once again, thanks for all your years of service with us.