So I set out on my first Mileage run on UA this weekend which consisted of ORD-LAX-IAD-PVD-IAD-ORD.

It started fine on the ORD-LAX with an entire row to myself in Economy ^. I needed to spend the night in LA and to keep costs low I rented a car from Fox.

I set out for my 6:00am flight and returned the car. The shuttle bus which normally runs every 10-15 minutes, took almost a half an hour to arrive .

Running a bit late, I quickly check in and print all of my boarding passes. I proceed to the security line which was pretty long. I am starting to worry now. I get through security when I am asked to step off to the side. It seems there is something in my bag that is alarming. I'm randomly searched and my bags are unpacked. Finally the offending object is removed, which was a tube of toothpaste .

I see I only have about 10 minutes before the doors to my flight are due to close. I scramble and stuff my belongings back into my carry-on and laptop bag. During the frenzy, I mix up my boarding passes and head to the gate on the top ticket. I arrive to find that I should be on the other side of the airport. I sprint back and they have just shut the door to my plane. Its still sitting at the gate but they wont let me on.

The next flight is due to leave in about an hour, so no worry. I have a few hours to kill in IAD anyhow.

The flight is delayed about 40 minutes when then they announce a downsized equipment change. Due to this change they are way oversold. No one on the waitlist makes it on the flight.

I waitlist for the next flight which will put me in IAD 10 minutes after my PVD flight leaves. Due to a good tailwind, we arrive 15 minutes early ^. I exit the plane, quickly look at the board and see that the PVD flight has been delayed. I sprint to the next terminal to find a flight to Pittsburgh at my gate . I'm told that the flight has been delayed another 10 minutes and there has been a gate change, which is 2 gates from where I just came from .

I head back and they are just about finished boarding. I walk up, hand the agent my ticket and head out to the tarmac. As we are waiting for an elderly lady to climb the stairs, an agent comes running outside yelling "Mr Tonecold, Mr Tonecold?" I inform her that I am Mr Tonecold. She tells me my boarding pass is not valid and that it was not in the system . It occurs to me that she never scanned the ticket because she was talking to someone when I handed her my boarding pass/she returned my stub. In any case, they assigned my seat to someone else. They ultimately produced another seat for me which looked to be the last available.

I am happy that I made the flight and surely the worst is behind me. We arrive at PVD, I exit the place and immediately re-board. They announce that we should arrive in IAD about 20 minutes late, which should be plenty of time to catch my connecting flight to ORD.

We taxi out to the runway and wait. And wait. And wait. Finally the pilot announces that the "little green light that comes on to show all systems go, is not coming on and we will have to return to the gate". We arrive at the gate, maintenance has the pilot shut down the plane to reboot (What does this thing run on Windows?) and after about 15-20 minutes the light comes back on.

Due to the earlier delay and the maintenance issue I am cutting the ORD flight VERY close now. We arrive and I figure I should be able to make the flight as long as I hustle. We taxi towards the gate, when the pilot stops and waits. He announces that the plane in our scheduled gate is running behind schedule and there are no other available gates.

We finally get a gate just about the time the doors are closing to the ORD flight. I figure there are no more flights to ORD and I am right. I proceed to the UA customer service area to get a hotel voucher and am the 3rd person in line. There are 3 groups of customers at the desk already. 45 minutes later only the first of the 3 customers receives his boarding passes and hotel vouchers . The agent who was assisting that customer disappears behind the wall. Moments later I see him leaving with his backpack on. There are now 2 customer service reps and about 100 people waiting in line

About 10 minutes later, an older gentleman arrives and announces he can assist the PVD customers at the next gate. In the mad rush to the next gate, I keep my place in line .

He manages to service 3 customers in about 15 minutes. As I walk past the customer service area, the 2 groups that were there when I arrived an hour earlier are still not finished.

I head out to catch the Sheraton shuttle bus which is running every 15-20 minutes according to the agent assisted me. After about 20 minutes, I call the Sheraton to inquire about the bus and am informed that there was an accident on the Tollway and the driver is behind it. They estimate he should be there in about 20 minutes. By the time he arrives, there are now about 20 people waiting.

He pulls up and they make a mad dash for the bus. I am next to last to board and sit in the last row. Upon arriving at the hotel, everyone makes a break to the check-in.

I am the last into the hotel and behind about 20 others. I walk up to the counter and stand next to the Starwood Gold/Platinum check-in sign. The 2 gentlemen behind the desk are obviously overwhelmed, so I wait. And wait. And wait. Finally after seeing that several customers from each line have been handled, I flash my SPG platinum card (full disclosure, which expired earlier this year but has not been replaced with Gold yet) and ask for service. I'm told the line begins behind the other guests

I ask for assistance once again mentioning my status and am told the line begins behind the other customers

I get frustrated and ask to no one in particular "what the hell is Startwood status worth if I cant get Priority check in" I proceed to the back of the line and am the last person to check in. I ask if the $12 meal voucher can be used for room service and am informed that it can but the kitchen is closed . Being the last one to raid the snack closet, my dinner consists of candy bars and nuts.

I arrive in the room, am still a bit wound up and cant sleep. I figure I'll watch a movie. I turn on the pay per view and the screen freezes. I turn the TV off/on (hey it worked for the airplane) but the screen is still frozen. I call the front desk to inquire if there is a problem with the pay per view system. He states that he does not know but will look into and call me back. He never does.

So........ does anyone know of a good MR from ORD before 6/15?