There is an illogical argument in your OP. You, when at the window, exercise (rightly) your control over the shade. However, when you are not at the window, you expect those who are at the window to do what you want - which you refused to do for your seatmate when asked....

The person at the window has control. That for me is the basic rule. You cannot enforce your wishes upon the entire cabin. You can hope that those at the windows agree with you, but you won't always get what you want.

(and if you do a search, you'll find quite a few of these type of threads before )