Scenario: A friend and I are flying on the same flight - both T fares; 2 separate reservations. I'm Gold, he's Silver. We currently are sitting together.

Last time we flew together, I got upgraded at the last min while sitting in coach and it created a problem (some lady was upset that I had her seat when I had unknowingly been upgraded). Then the dilemma of taking the seat or staying in coach.

While it unlikely as we are on T fares to be upgrade, its also a short flight on a CRJ 900 which is usually when I get upgraded. Would it be best to not request the upgrade, or can I do it and then refuse it if he as a Silver doesn't get the upgrade? Or is it just best to take my original seat and give the upgraded boarding pass to the person who then got the seat (or does that tick off someone on the upgrade list)?

Basically, what is the Flyertalk etiquette in this situation?