I can only speak of experience of 6 flights with handicapped last year with Ryanair. Had my father on all flights who can't walk stairs and long distances. I have, and so does my father, nothing but praise for the way he was treated on all of the flight. (by the way, the handicapped service outside the plane is not done through Ryanair, but the airport) I could not find any "oppressive rules" for the disabled. You might be talking about the max of 4 handicapped per flight, but I somehow can understand that rule; it will make evacuating a plane within 90 seconds extremly stressful, if not impossible, if too many persons need help on the plane disembarking.

Now for our experience. We always had curteous and respectful service in all airports we had requested the handicapped service, starting from Ryanair personnel at the check-in counter to the person at the gate and personnel in the plane. Seats were reserved at the front of the plane for my father/mother and myself (just requested the service for my father), we were the last ones to enter the plane, being escorted by ground personnel, and the last off the plane, again being picked up by ground personnel. During all the flights, the stewards were attentive and courteous. We have never been shoved on or off the plane, but have been asked to stay seated until the ground service would come and pick us up. On one instance my father even insisted on walking the stair, which he did very, very slowly, with one assistant in front and one in back (rather than being carried up; they did not have a lift at that airport), and there was no hurry up from anyone, he was even told to take his time.

I, of course, had to call the service line after booking the flight and register him as handicapped. That is the only drawback, but, booking through other airlines, I have to do the same thing, call ahead and request the service in advance, as stated on their WEB page.

Perhaps you did not?