I spend most of my travel strategy time maximizing airline miles, but I like Hilton hotels in general, so have managed to be a Diamond for 3 yrs now. I probably spend about 70 to 80 nights a year in some Hilton family hotel or another, 90% of it in the USA.

I appreciate the points and diamond points bonuses, because I use them for family vacations. But here is my question.....

What do I have to do to get an upgrade? In 3 yrs I might have gotten 3 total in all that time. I have asked a few times at check in but have always been told they are not available. But to be fair, I don't even usually ask anymore. I guess I thought they happened automatically, space available, since the few I have gotten happened that way.

Heck, to be honest, I rarely even get the water and snack they are supposed to provide to Diamonds at certain properties. And each and every time I stay in an ES I have to get them to take the wireless internet access charge off my bill (it's the perk I have set for ES stays).

Is there some trick to actually getting the perks they advertise for top tier members, or do we always, always have to ..... and complain to get them?

Any other frequent stay program that is better in this regard?