Do you have anyone who can FedEx you your birth certificate? If so, you can fly home with your birth cert and driver's license. Note that you may have difficulty checking in with these, so you may want to head to a business centre and print out the relevant pages from the government of Canada web site indicating that you can enter Canada with these two docs.

Very worst case scenario is fly to SEA, rent a BC-plated one-way car to YVR and plead your case at the border. Once you're in Canada you can fly home.