UA 838 NRT SFO 1710 0915 777 11A was 9J Ch9^^ Empower^

The good news: this was an XP, and 9J has infinite legroom.
The bad news: it was being used for crew rest.

Back in the olden days, when I was young and handsome and
paid real fares, this would have signified 1A for sure, but
it was not to be. The boarding pass that came out said 11A;
I sort of rolled my eyes but went on board; complained to
one of the FAs on embarking.

The guy in 11B with the canonic dark pants and blue-striped
shirt asked me to change seats to accommodate his friend; I
went ballistic on him, telling him that UA had jerked me
around enough; turns out he wasn't ground staff at all but
just some fellow with defective taste; I enlightened him on
how not to dress like a United person and said that his
friend would no doubt have good luck switching seats, and
so it was. My new seatmate was unbelievably polite and kind;
we had a pleasant chat, and it turns out we knew people in
common, as he got his master's the same year as I had my
A.B., from the same red institution.

The duty manager came on board and knelt before me; he was
comically insincere, fluttering his eyelids and doing his
best to resemble a condemned criminal begging for his neck
before the mediaeval warlord, in a way that I have seen
before only in movies. I accepted his apology, laughing
inside at the silliness. No 1A for me! Later, a FA tried to
explain, saying something about how in this configuration
the former crew rest area was used for something else, and
so they had to take row 9 away from the customers. Whatever.

The FAs were perfectly nice, though not in their first
youth, which didn't bother me, as I'm not either.

Warm nuts with seconds; hot towels.

to begin

Smoked salmon rose, sweet sesame pork; vegetable sushi and
pickled ginger

I got a salmon rose, which was good, but something else
unidentifiable instead of the other things. Unmemorable.

Fresh seasonal greens; blue cheese or sesame vinaigrette

Okay.

main course

Pan-seared filet mignon with balsamic onion demi-glace;
baked stuffed potato with chives and asparagus

Key lime and honey chicken breast with mango lime sauce;
jambalaya rice and green beans with macadamia nuts

Washoku zen selection; appetizers of snapper sushi, simmered
shrimp, lightly salted flounder wrapped in seaweed, chicken
in cod egg roll, baby bamboo with dried fish flakes, beef
sirloin with Japanese dressing, maitake mushroom and cha-
soba noodles topped with simmered shimeji mushroom; a main
course of salmon topped with chestnut paste and grilled
eringi mushroom, chestnut, green beans and carrot flower;
served with steamed rice and Japanese pickled vegetables;
served with green tea. Itens in this meal may contain
traces of MSG. When making reservations on future flights
to and from Japan, you may secure the Japanese meal by
pre-ordering

I told the FA taking orders that I didn't care what I got.
Later, someone else asked me again to make sure I got my
first choice meal, as I hadn't gotten my first choice seat.
I reiterated that I didn't care. I ended up with the beef,
which was tender if stewed in its sweet-and-sweet onion
sauce. Asparagus was surprisingly fine. I didn't like the
looks of the potato so didn't eat it.

Got to see the Washoku Zen meal next to me; it appeared to
be a mishmosh of small malodorous things followed by a piece
of a fish that had met its maker weeks, perhaps months
before, and then had been held at a high temperature for
many of the intervening days. Not what I'd expect of
catering out of Tokyo. Nor from the reputation of the meal.