For me, warm eggs works. Of course...

• If it's scrambled eggs, make sure it's slightly moist and delicate. No powdered eggs, last night's puke or something that has the same consistency as a tyre which has been figuratively put in a blender.
• If it's boiled or poached eggs, if you want to bake the yolk, fine, but again - no rubber eggs!
• If it's fried eggs, make sure I'm getting an egg, not a 0.1mm-thick crispy-fried coupon that looked like an egg.

Outside of the US - and certainly in Australia - rarely sports the colourful dishes you so list. Although I have seen some breakfast buffets making a distinct difference between American bacon and English bacon. Personally I can't quite tell (or taste) the difference.

Most of the "losers" you quote are not bad foods - but their preparation requires a delicate hand and an intricate mind that is - naturally, of course - in severe short supply. These are the ones you can't stuff up, otherwise you might as well toss it in the bin unless someone is really, really hungry.

I refer to things like pancakes, waffles, eggs Benedict, omelettes and scrambled eggs.

Corn Flakes seems to be everywhere. In Australia, you'll always find Corn Flakes, Sultana Bran and mixed museli (usually a combination of museli and sultanas).

Stuff that lacks severely in many breakfast offerings:

• Something else besides white bread, e.g. wholewheat bread.
• If I say I do not want butter on the toast, I mean it! What's wrong with leaving the butter on the side?
• Bacon which has greater than 20% of real meat on the rasher.
• Some warm vegetables with a warm breakfast is nice, e.g. mushrooms (not mushroom water!) or spinach. Baked potatoes and hash browns do not count!
• If you're going to offer spaghetti or baked beans, could you offer something that doesn't taste sickly sweet?