I understand not giving out accomodations and it sounds like the OP asked an innocent question in a somewhat threatening manner. From his story, I think the FA could've dealt with a paying customer in a much more way. I've had FA's voluntarily tell me where they stay, but maybe that's because I'm a young looking guy and they were interested
I do have a problem with employees not out their name or Employee ID. To me this is completely unprofessional. If you are a professional at anything you stand by your product and your work. Part of standing by your work is taking ownership of it which means identifying yourself as the owner of your work. Refusing to do so by not giving out identifying information seems to be the antithesis of professional accountability. IMO a successful organization would make it policy that all workers have some safe way to identify themselves to customers so that they can be complimented, or complained about for their work product.
Sean