For what it is worth, I sympathize with the OP. I can understand being tired, and just wanting a decent hotel. That said, I think the question was inappropriate. Better would be to go to the hotel shuttle area, and hop the first brand you like. Also, near the baggage area, there is (in most large airports at least) a bank of phones that connect automatically with hotels in the area. So the question itself just sound odd. I'm not flight crew, but asked the same question by a stranger, I think my answer would have been the same, abet phrased less rudely.
I think in this case security was less terrorism and more personal -- who is this stalker -- was probably going through the person's mind.
As to complaints/affirmations, I'm sure that if US knows the first name and position (FA, Capt, etc) they know who was on the flight. Same for gate agent -- someone has to sign onto the computer to work the flight, open the door, etc.
As to "names" -- look at the badge the gate agent has. 75% of the time you can read the name.
Dave