Well since no one else seems to want to say it, I will. Nice trip report, if a little oddly written. In particular I liked:

"The guy next to me actually asked for the chicken: it looked
like something the cat dragged in, and whatever it was on
the side looked like something the cat barfed up afterwards.
He gave it a decent burial by putting his napkin on top of
it and sending it back."

Decent burial, too funny.