Can anybody tell me why the OP should be getting into the lounge? He doesn't have status. He's not travelling on a J ticket. I don't think sweet talking a fellow status passenger is appropriate either as that isn't in the spirit of the way the entitlement was envisaged.

You're not entitled to use the lounge. Simple as that. As for bribing the lounge staff? That is one of the strangest suggestions I've ever heard.