Last night there was a murder in a fish shop
A wee dug stole a haddie bone
A big dug tried tae take it aff her
So ah hit it wi' a tattie scone

The wee dug ran tae tell its mammy,
It's mammy wisnae in,
It took a look through the window,
An' this it what it seen:

Her false teeth were lying on the table,
Her curly wig was lying on the bed
And she was sitting in the old armchair
Screwing aff her widden leg.